My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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