after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
