You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
