You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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