I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
