how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
