I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
