i permit you to call me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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