Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
