my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
