I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
