They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
