Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
