hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Non-Jews are for practice
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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