aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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