I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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