It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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