Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
where are my eyebrows?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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