Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
