Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
