i would punch a child for taco bell
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
