it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
