Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
