I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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