lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
