so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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