She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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