Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
