We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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