Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize