i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
