Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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