Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
