a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
