hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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