This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
