I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ladies don't puke and tell
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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