yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
