I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize