The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
handjob tips. give me some.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize