what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
