That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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