even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
