I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
