Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
