a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
