I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
