you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
