im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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