I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
