This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
