I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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