On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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