Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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