Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
