I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize