I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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