I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
