I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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