Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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