Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
