You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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