I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
