Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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