Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
