I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
