I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
