oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
