mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
