i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
