you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
